free write 1

i think i've ridden myself of all the toxic emotions i've been carrying around. the expectations and needs that i riddle myself with. no more. just love. positivity and unconditional love. i've refocused again since i got off track. i never knew how slowly and silently creeps until you have what-the-heck-am-i-doing? moment and then you re-evaluate, see where mistakes were made and move on with better focus. i cant believe james will be one year old in less than three weeks. so much has cahnged. my slices of myself are filling this never ending pie and its evolving all the time. over and over again. still the same but still different. there are levesl of love. different planes. parallel universes, what have you. i'm not down with the categorizations and there needs to be more words for love. i wanted to hug the world today on my way home from work. just wrap myself up in the world and embrace it and feel everything and everywhere from all sides, in and out. immersion, osmosis, joinign in every THING. le sigh.