The Walk - Imogen Heap
Inside out, upside-down twisting beside myself,
Stop that now, cos you and I were never meant to be
I think you better leave; it's not safe in here,
I feel a weakness coming on.
Alright then (Alright then) I could keep your number for a rainy day,
That's where this ends, no mistakes no misbehaving,
Oh, I was doing so well, can we just be friends,
I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, Yeah,
No it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault.
Inside out, upside-down twisting beside myself,
Stop that now; you're as close as it gets without touching me,
Oh no, don't make it harder than it already is,
Mmm, I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, Yeah,
No it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault.
Big trouble losing control,
Primary resistance at a critical low,
On the double gotta get a hold,
Point of no return one second to go,
No response on any level, red alert this vessels under siege,
Total overload, systems down, they've got control,
There's no way out, we are surrounded,
Give in, give in and relish every minute of it
Freeze, awake here forever, I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all,
I don't want to feel like this, Yeah,
No it's not meant to be like this, it's just what I don't need,
Why make me feel like this, it's definitely all your fault.
Feel like this la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault (Feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault (Feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault (Feel like this) la la la la la la la la
It's all your fault
.........................................
Quicksand - Natalie Walker
I must have been too stupid
I must have been so out of touch
He must have been so clever
convincing me that this was really love
Desperate for words, lost in a maze
It fell apart, I lost my place
It hurt so bad, I cried for days
Time healed all pain, now I'm OK
How many times can my heart break?
Disillusioned by the thought of flawless love
Will I ever get there?
Or am I drowning in quicksand with no relief to come?
Desperate for words, lost in a maze
It fell apart, I lost my place
It hurt so bad, I cried for days
Time healed all pain, now I'm OK
I rise from all my sorrow
I let the sunshine on my face
I rise from all my sorrow
I let the sunshine on my face
All alone in comfort
It's my solitude I will embrace
I will rise from the sorrow
I will rise from the sorrow
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
RIP
I'm not really sure whats going on but its big. In the past week there have been many influential people that have died and I cant help but wonder if perhaps they were needed elsewhere. I'm just shocked at the quickness in which they left, namely Michael Jackson. MJ...wow. I just cant get over that. He is right up there with Elvis Presley and John Lennon. Such a talented individual regardless of his sometimes odd behavior. No one can deny his success and his millions of grieving fans from all over the world is proof of that. Jam on, Michael.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
new dream
i think that i've finally settled in to this...new way of thinking? lifestyle? i dont even know what to call it. opportunity perhaps? not quite sure. all i know is that i am very confident in my choice, i know that i have made the right decision and i have no fear of what the future brings.
i have a new dream. i have meditated on some things and i think, no...i WILL pursue a nursing degree. i have checked the requirements for LCC online and between all the credits i've taken already, i would only be in school for a year +/- a term and i would be done. funding might be a problem but i can work around that. i think this would be a wise and advantageous move seeing as how i still have my dream of a psych degree and my hopes for a career in child development. i know that i wont have a problem finding a job after school is done because NO WHERE will you find a help wanted page void of any nursing positions. this can open doors for me later on and would always be something i could fall back on. plus, i'd make a damn fine nurse :)
i have a new dream. i have meditated on some things and i think, no...i WILL pursue a nursing degree. i have checked the requirements for LCC online and between all the credits i've taken already, i would only be in school for a year +/- a term and i would be done. funding might be a problem but i can work around that. i think this would be a wise and advantageous move seeing as how i still have my dream of a psych degree and my hopes for a career in child development. i know that i wont have a problem finding a job after school is done because NO WHERE will you find a help wanted page void of any nursing positions. this can open doors for me later on and would always be something i could fall back on. plus, i'd make a damn fine nurse :)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
May Horoscope
You have a great deal of positive career developments possible in May, and you might also settle a home-related matter, too. It looks like you have a lot on your plate, so you'll have to be organized to make sure you don't let important details slip through the cracks.
The full moon, May 9, will bring an unexpected breakthrough in regard to an impending move or other home-related plan. Your plans will fall into place quite rapidly with a lovely beam from Uranus. Saturn will also bring gifts of stability, so you'll have quite a good environment for making a decision or for finalizing a deal that makes you excited.
The new moon that appeared in late April started the ball rolling in your career, so you should continue following up on any career offers that surface. The only problem is that no deal is a good deal if your needs change later or if the job you are offered is about to change so much you hardly recognize it, making you feel trapped in a job you would have never taken. That seems likely if you sign on the dotted line now or give a verbal "yes" to the offer in May. Mercury will be retrograde from May 7 to 30, making May a bad time to sign a contract or accept a new job or assignment.
If you were working on a home-related project, it would be an equally bad time to sign a lease, buy a house or condo, or acquire new furniture, kitchen appliances, electronics like a computer or flat screen TV, or any other expensive items. If on the other hand, you already made your decisions and signed on the dotted line in April, this full moon would be a fine time to see the final implementation of that decision or commitment.
In matters of health, things should improve once Saturn goes direct on May 16. Saturn has been retrograde since December 31 of last year, so if you feel you've not made big strides lately, you may see a big improvement on or near this date. Actually, you may see a nice up tick in health on May 5 too, as the Sun, your ruler, will be in perfect angle to Saturn on that day. If you have been working on a fitness goal, you may also see an upbeat change on or near these dates this month as well.
Throughout May you will have ample opportunities to travel, and with Venus following Mars, it would be a divine time to take a vacation. Make it adventurous - a safari in Africa, white water rafting in Colorado, or exploring temples in India. This month, no location would be too far or too exotic to visit. If you can travel, go to a place you've never been, for you need the freshness of discovering something truly new. Look for bargain travel deals that will allow you to pack and go now, for you are likely to find one in May.
A truly soft influence will breeze in the window at month's end, thanks to the new moon May 24. From that point on, you will see that your friends are beginning to play a more prominent role in your life. They will take you to the kind of events that will help you meet more people, some of whom you'd like to cultivate as friends. You may decide to do volunteer work for a community, charity, or humanitarian cause in weeks and months ahead as a result of this new moon, and that would be one of the best ways to direct your energies in this incoming phase. The area of the chart where this new moon will fall is the eleventh house of groups, and also the part of the chart that helps us reveal compassion for others and to do something tangible to help them.
In your personal life, your romantic partner seems to truly understand the real you and will celebrate your individuality as well. You seem to be deeply inspired by your partner now, and if so, give in to this feeling and revel in it. You have the capability of enormous depth of feeling this month and in weeks and months to come. With Jupiter (happiness and good fortune) linking to Neptune (imagination), if you are not inspired by a romantic partner, then you may decide to do a creative collaboration that turns out to be quite wondrous and that would be given critical reviews that you used to only dream about.
You would have to work collaboratively to trigger this luck, so keep this in mind. One plus one equals twenty these days. Watch what happens on the first of three conjunctions in 2009, the first being May 27. The next two will occur July 10 and December 21. After that, these powerful planets will say adieu and not meet again until 2022. This is rare and special - make it work for you.
Dates to Note:
You can see a finish to an important home or family matter on May 9, plus or minus four days. Avoid making any big commitments, however, in writing or even verbally, or shopping for anything expensive, due to Mercury in retrograde: May 7 to 30 (operative longer, all month).
Your heath will show an upswing on May 5 but even more so after May 16, thanks to a stronger, more positive orbit of Saturn.
Consider taking an adventurous vacation to a place you've never been this month - Mars and Venus will cook up something amazing and memorable.
A sweet social influence will crank up on May 24 and bring you in contact with many new people. Some will become new friends, and those will lead you into fresh new places of the heart and mind.
On May 26, expect good news regarding travel, international relationships, publishing, broadcasting, or higher education.
Your personal or creative partner will add a great deal to your life all through 2009, but especially so near May 27 when Jupiter and Neptune make their first of three gorgeous, rare, and highly inspirational conjunctions. Watch what happens.
Your happiest days this month will be May 5, 9, 16, 21, 24, 26 and 27.
--
Credit Susan Miller for May 2009 http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/leo_full.php
The full moon, May 9, will bring an unexpected breakthrough in regard to an impending move or other home-related plan. Your plans will fall into place quite rapidly with a lovely beam from Uranus. Saturn will also bring gifts of stability, so you'll have quite a good environment for making a decision or for finalizing a deal that makes you excited.
The new moon that appeared in late April started the ball rolling in your career, so you should continue following up on any career offers that surface. The only problem is that no deal is a good deal if your needs change later or if the job you are offered is about to change so much you hardly recognize it, making you feel trapped in a job you would have never taken. That seems likely if you sign on the dotted line now or give a verbal "yes" to the offer in May. Mercury will be retrograde from May 7 to 30, making May a bad time to sign a contract or accept a new job or assignment.
If you were working on a home-related project, it would be an equally bad time to sign a lease, buy a house or condo, or acquire new furniture, kitchen appliances, electronics like a computer or flat screen TV, or any other expensive items. If on the other hand, you already made your decisions and signed on the dotted line in April, this full moon would be a fine time to see the final implementation of that decision or commitment.
In matters of health, things should improve once Saturn goes direct on May 16. Saturn has been retrograde since December 31 of last year, so if you feel you've not made big strides lately, you may see a big improvement on or near this date. Actually, you may see a nice up tick in health on May 5 too, as the Sun, your ruler, will be in perfect angle to Saturn on that day. If you have been working on a fitness goal, you may also see an upbeat change on or near these dates this month as well.
Throughout May you will have ample opportunities to travel, and with Venus following Mars, it would be a divine time to take a vacation. Make it adventurous - a safari in Africa, white water rafting in Colorado, or exploring temples in India. This month, no location would be too far or too exotic to visit. If you can travel, go to a place you've never been, for you need the freshness of discovering something truly new. Look for bargain travel deals that will allow you to pack and go now, for you are likely to find one in May.
A truly soft influence will breeze in the window at month's end, thanks to the new moon May 24. From that point on, you will see that your friends are beginning to play a more prominent role in your life. They will take you to the kind of events that will help you meet more people, some of whom you'd like to cultivate as friends. You may decide to do volunteer work for a community, charity, or humanitarian cause in weeks and months ahead as a result of this new moon, and that would be one of the best ways to direct your energies in this incoming phase. The area of the chart where this new moon will fall is the eleventh house of groups, and also the part of the chart that helps us reveal compassion for others and to do something tangible to help them.
In your personal life, your romantic partner seems to truly understand the real you and will celebrate your individuality as well. You seem to be deeply inspired by your partner now, and if so, give in to this feeling and revel in it. You have the capability of enormous depth of feeling this month and in weeks and months to come. With Jupiter (happiness and good fortune) linking to Neptune (imagination), if you are not inspired by a romantic partner, then you may decide to do a creative collaboration that turns out to be quite wondrous and that would be given critical reviews that you used to only dream about.
You would have to work collaboratively to trigger this luck, so keep this in mind. One plus one equals twenty these days. Watch what happens on the first of three conjunctions in 2009, the first being May 27. The next two will occur July 10 and December 21. After that, these powerful planets will say adieu and not meet again until 2022. This is rare and special - make it work for you.
Dates to Note:
You can see a finish to an important home or family matter on May 9, plus or minus four days. Avoid making any big commitments, however, in writing or even verbally, or shopping for anything expensive, due to Mercury in retrograde: May 7 to 30 (operative longer, all month).
Your heath will show an upswing on May 5 but even more so after May 16, thanks to a stronger, more positive orbit of Saturn.
Consider taking an adventurous vacation to a place you've never been this month - Mars and Venus will cook up something amazing and memorable.
A sweet social influence will crank up on May 24 and bring you in contact with many new people. Some will become new friends, and those will lead you into fresh new places of the heart and mind.
On May 26, expect good news regarding travel, international relationships, publishing, broadcasting, or higher education.
Your personal or creative partner will add a great deal to your life all through 2009, but especially so near May 27 when Jupiter and Neptune make their first of three gorgeous, rare, and highly inspirational conjunctions. Watch what happens.
Your happiest days this month will be May 5, 9, 16, 21, 24, 26 and 27.
--
Credit Susan Miller for May 2009 http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/leo_full.php
Fix you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBEYyHGbwto
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
-----------------------------
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
-----------------------------
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Fleet Foxes and more.
* Wednesday night I saw the Fleet Foxes live at the McDonald Theater and it was fucking awesome. Very cool, chill, awesome tunes were played and an enjoyable evening was had by all. I have this uncanny ability of winning shit all the time on the radio and this happened to be one of those winnings. I had seen the FF on SNL and was impressed with how well they played live so I downloaded some tunes and was even more impressed. Needless to say, I am fortunate to have gone and I'm REALLY feeling the need to make a trip to the Gorge this Labor Day and see the DMB. I NEED it. Would have gone last year but a very good friend was getting married that weekend so the trip was postponed. Plus, they are putting out a new album!
* The next tattoo(s) I will be getting is a treble clef behind my left ear and a bass clef behind my right. Still need to meditate a bit on the next session for the one on my back.
* I bought a new pair of running shoes ( :D ) and plan to start a new running and exercise regime for the next four months. The goal: increased stamina and a notable decrease in lap time. I'll be signing up for a 5k in May and then another one in August for comparison.
* My job is wearing on me. My two year review is coming up and its glaringly obvious to me that this job, at this pay, is NOT where I want to be and I'm itching for something more challenging and/or different. I really miss school and the satisfaction of getting closer and closer to realizing a dream of mine. Without it I feel as though I'm just treading water.
* I've realized that there are some people in this life who can be and are emotionally draining. Unfortunately, some of these same people have a close relationship with me, therefore escaping their encompassing negativity is not an option. I've learned how to deal with it and still maintain my emotional state but it takes work and after putting in a long week AT work AND at home, this kind of practice isnt appealing to me in the least.
* I have a theory on chemistry between people but it lacks sufficient scientific data.
* The next tattoo(s) I will be getting is a treble clef behind my left ear and a bass clef behind my right. Still need to meditate a bit on the next session for the one on my back.
* I bought a new pair of running shoes ( :D ) and plan to start a new running and exercise regime for the next four months. The goal: increased stamina and a notable decrease in lap time. I'll be signing up for a 5k in May and then another one in August for comparison.
* My job is wearing on me. My two year review is coming up and its glaringly obvious to me that this job, at this pay, is NOT where I want to be and I'm itching for something more challenging and/or different. I really miss school and the satisfaction of getting closer and closer to realizing a dream of mine. Without it I feel as though I'm just treading water.
* I've realized that there are some people in this life who can be and are emotionally draining. Unfortunately, some of these same people have a close relationship with me, therefore escaping their encompassing negativity is not an option. I've learned how to deal with it and still maintain my emotional state but it takes work and after putting in a long week AT work AND at home, this kind of practice isnt appealing to me in the least.
* I have a theory on chemistry between people but it lacks sufficient scientific data.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Teh weekend...
After finishing off a very long day AND week, I was more than ready for a beer on Friday night. We (the boss and his wife, scott, estaban and his girl and another co-worker who is moving back to cali) went to 'our' bar, the strip club, Denny's (i feel for those late night waitresses) then our house. Sleep finally came at about 4:30am. I, thankfully, was allowed to sleep in and it was sorely needed and appreciated. Attended a BBQ on saturday that consisted of friends from high school, work and friends of friends. My friend (who is also my immediate boss) lives on the land that our OTHER friends' family owns so we had acres of land at our disposal when we took the ATV's out. That was needed. Theres something refreshing about flying over rutted roads on a 4-wheeler at dusk. That evening wasn't as long or nearly as adventurous as the previous and I was in bed at a decent hour.
Today was absolutely fucking beautiful. It was the first time I was able to sit outside and just soak up the sun. It was as if my skin was parched from the winter months and the sun quenched its thirst. IT FELT SO GOOD! I am more than ready for summer to be here.
I think I am going to sign up for a couple 5k's this summer. I want to get back to where I was physically before I got injured in 2006 and pregnant in '07. My goal is to be ready to commit to a half marathon by fall of next year. That means running, more running and lots more running!!! I'll need to invest in a good pair of shoes.
Even though the weekend was busy and full it was thoroughly enjoyed and definitely a must to ensure a nice relaxed beginning to another full week.
Today was absolutely fucking beautiful. It was the first time I was able to sit outside and just soak up the sun. It was as if my skin was parched from the winter months and the sun quenched its thirst. IT FELT SO GOOD! I am more than ready for summer to be here.
I think I am going to sign up for a couple 5k's this summer. I want to get back to where I was physically before I got injured in 2006 and pregnant in '07. My goal is to be ready to commit to a half marathon by fall of next year. That means running, more running and lots more running!!! I'll need to invest in a good pair of shoes.
Even though the weekend was busy and full it was thoroughly enjoyed and definitely a must to ensure a nice relaxed beginning to another full week.
Friday, April 3, 2009
FRIDAY!
A twelve hour shift does NOT really appeal to me at this moment. I already dropped James off at the sitters and i'm sitting her cracking out on myspace, facebook, this and SL. Oh, and listening to music. ALWAYS listening to music. Sigh. I really have nothing to write other than today will be a GLORIOUS day because I said so, AND....AND!!!! I see sunshine!!!!!!! I'm so excited about the prospect of actual SUNLIGHT that I could literally piss myself.
Oh happy friday.
Oh happy friday.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
...
Maybe different but remember winters warm there you and I.
Kissing whiskey by the fire with the snow outside.
And when the summer comes
in the river swim at midnight (shiver, cold) touch the bottom
(stars are bright) with muddy toes
Stay or leave--I want you not to go,
but you should.
It was good, as good goes.
Stay or leave--I want you not to go.
But you did.
Wake up naked, drinking coffee, making plans to change the world
while the world is changing us.
It was good, good love.
And you used to laugh under the covers,
maybe not so often now
The way I used to laugh with you was loud and hard.
Stay or leave—I want you not to go,
but you should.
It was good, as good goes.
Stay or leave—I want you not to go.
But you did.
So what to do with the rest of the days' afternoon haze?
Well isn't it strange how it changes everything we did?
Did I do all that I should—that I could have done?
Remember we used to dance and everyone wanted to be you and me? I want to be too.
What day is this, besides the day you left me?
What day is this, besides the day you went?
So what to do with the rest of the days' afternoon haze?
Well isn't it strange how it changes everything we did?
Did I do all that I could?
Remember we used to dance and everyone wanted to be you and me? I want to be too.
What day is this, besides the day you left me?
What day is this?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Babble
Working a 13 hour shift today was made a little bit easier thanks to some Marley. I miss that guy. I wish we didnt have to be adults. I want to be child-like more often. I think I'll color tomorrow. and play with Lego's. I want an adult sized Big Wheel. with streamers off the handles. you'll be able to hear me slide stop a block away. whatever happened to micro machines? or those one freaky stuffed animals that rolled into itself. i want to be in kindergarten again where the only stress is whether or not the teacher calls on you to read aloud. a brand new box of crayons, lunch boxes and the smell of white elmers glue drying on construction paper. i'm going to cover my entire palm with white glue, let it dry and peel it off. its like peeling off a sunburn but cooler. i seriously can not wait for summer. my skin is aching to feel the sun. i should go to a tanning bed. perhaps that will tide me over until the warmer weather gets here. theres a guy at work who's leaving to go back to cali to take care of his mother. i'm kinda bummed he's leaving because 1) his mom isnt doing so hot and 2) i was actually starting to get to know the dude. he'll be missed.
i need to remember to get gas in the morning...
i need to remember to get gas in the morning...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Work dynamics
Being friends with your bosses can prove to be quite difficult at times. Case in point: I had Monday DAY off and worked the closing shift so that I can maintain my 40 hours a week (plus I can spend the day with James). I come to work on Monday about 10 minutes before my shift starts and dear god, it was like a thunderstorm was raging inside. Jessica, my immediate boss, and Mike, my other boss are both my friends outside of work. Jessica I have known for many years and have come to find a 'niche' in how to work with her, how to read her moods and at times, tailor how I ask a question or for some clarification. Mike I've only known for about a year yet I have come to anticipate his actions and how he likes to run things (which is eerily how I myself like them to be run) and can work seamlessly with him. Knowing how each of them works is an advantage to me but it also proves to be a problem. When I came back to talk to Jessica, I got her side of the story; what got done, what didnt get done, how her ass got chewed for something, what didnt go right about this that and the other, etc. I listened to all she had to say because I knew she needed to vent. After she left, I went to Mike and asked HIS side of the story. I didnt side with either one, just heard them both out and as a third party, could tell where the breakdown of communication occured and what could have been done to prevent future instances. The only problem is, getting them to talk to EACH OTHER rather than thru me.
At times I feel as though everything I ever needed to know, I learned in grade school.
At times I feel as though everything I ever needed to know, I learned in grade school.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Locks of Love
Sunday the 8th of February at about 2:30 in the afternoon, Reesa (my hairdresser) cut off roughly ten and half inches of my hair. I was smiling the whole time knowing that this small gesture of kindness would bring a smile and happiness to another human being. This will be the second time I've donated my hair to Locks of Love and I'm so grateful that there is a way for me to make this place a little better than when I found it. If you would like to learn more about hair donation, please visit www.locksoflove.com.
Sex on Fire
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhhcKxflMY
Lay where you're laying
Don't make a sound
I know they're watching
They're watching
All the commotion
The kiddie like play
Has people talking
Talking
You
Your sex is on fire
Dark of the alley
The breaking of day
Head while I'm driving
I'm driving
Soft lips are open
Them nuckles is pale
Feels like you're dying
Your dying
You
Your sex is on fire
And so
Were the words to transpire
Hot as a fever
Rattling bones
I could just taste it
Taste it
But it's not forever
But it's just tonight
Oh we're still the greatest
The greatest
The greatest
You
Your sex is on fire
You
Your sex is on fire
And so
Were the words to transpire
And you
Your sex is on fire
And so
Were the words to transpire
Lay where you're laying
Don't make a sound
I know they're watching
They're watching
All the commotion
The kiddie like play
Has people talking
Talking
You
Your sex is on fire
Dark of the alley
The breaking of day
Head while I'm driving
I'm driving
Soft lips are open
Them nuckles is pale
Feels like you're dying
Your dying
You
Your sex is on fire
And so
Were the words to transpire
Hot as a fever
Rattling bones
I could just taste it
Taste it
But it's not forever
But it's just tonight
Oh we're still the greatest
The greatest
The greatest
You
Your sex is on fire
You
Your sex is on fire
And so
Were the words to transpire
And you
Your sex is on fire
And so
Were the words to transpire
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
ADHD
http://www.parentingweekly.com/parenting_information/adhd_gene.htm?nz=765&sz=2435523&wz=49&dz=1/25/2009
This is a great article. I especially liked the part where it said that stimulant medications, "only treat the symptoms - not the underlying cause - of the problem." Some parents, I believe, would rather treat the symptoms rather than find the root cause and going from there. It has been proved over and over again that re-wiring and rehabilitation of the brain works and in most cases, after extensive treatment, those who were diagnosed with ADHD show the same brain activity as those who were not. I found that when I tried to study or do homework it was easier for me to be listening to music rather than being in complete silence. However at other times, especially with Math, complete silence was what was needed in order to keep my thought process on the right track.
This is a great article. I especially liked the part where it said that stimulant medications, "only treat the symptoms - not the underlying cause - of the problem." Some parents, I believe, would rather treat the symptoms rather than find the root cause and going from there. It has been proved over and over again that re-wiring and rehabilitation of the brain works and in most cases, after extensive treatment, those who were diagnosed with ADHD show the same brain activity as those who were not. I found that when I tried to study or do homework it was easier for me to be listening to music rather than being in complete silence. However at other times, especially with Math, complete silence was what was needed in order to keep my thought process on the right track.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
311 - Amber
Brainstorm
take me away from the norm
I got to tell you something
this phenomenon
I had to put it in a song
and it goes like
Whoa, amber is the color of your energy
whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally
you ought to know what brings me here
you glide through my head blind to fear
and I know why
whoa, amber is the color of your energy
whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally
Whoa, amber is the color of your energy
whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally
You live too far away
your voice rings like a bell anyway
don't give up your independence
unless it feels so right
nothing good comes easily
sometimes you gotta fight
Whoa, amber is the color of your energy
whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally
launched a thousand ships in my heart, so easy
still it's fine from afar, and you know that
whoa, brainstorm take me away from the norm
whoa, I got to tell you something
--------
I've always loved this song. Currently it strikes a cord with me so I decided to put it in here. I like to sing the harmony part.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration Speech
OBAMA: My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
Inaugural Speech: Part 1 (Click Thumbnails Below for More)Obama's Inaugural Speech: Part IBarack Obama has become the nation's 44th president. Watch the first part of President Obama's inaugural address. (Jan. 20)Watch more AOL News videos on AOL Video
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
Inaugural Speech: Part 1 (Click Thumbnails Below for More)Obama's Inaugural Speech: Part IBarack Obama has become the nation's 44th president. Watch the first part of President Obama's inaugural address. (Jan. 20)Watch more AOL News videos on AOL Video
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Monday, January 19, 2009
free write 1
i think i've ridden myself of all the toxic emotions i've been carrying around. the expectations and needs that i riddle myself with. no more. just love. positivity and unconditional love. i've refocused again since i got off track. i never knew how slowly and silently creeps until you have what-the-heck-am-i-doing? moment and then you re-evaluate, see where mistakes were made and move on with better focus. i cant believe james will be one year old in less than three weeks. so much has cahnged. my slices of myself are filling this never ending pie and its evolving all the time. over and over again. still the same but still different. there are levesl of love. different planes. parallel universes, what have you. i'm not down with the categorizations and there needs to be more words for love. i wanted to hug the world today on my way home from work. just wrap myself up in the world and embrace it and feel everything and everywhere from all sides, in and out. immersion, osmosis, joinign in every THING. le sigh.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The Sim
My friend John* is my current hero right now. His incredible generosity and act of selfless love has renewed my adoration for SL and its premise - to have fun and C R E A T E. He has allowed me to basically take over his sim and do whatever I want to it til my heart's content. I have roughly 12,000 prims to use at my discretion and I am beside myself with excitement! I've brainstormed over the last few days and have finally settled on an overview of what I want it to look like and its overall shape. All of these are good to map out first, then everything else will fall in to place. If not, I'll get lost in the infinite potential.
This morning I finished the terraforming and plotted out a rough draft of where water will come in, go out, borders, etc. Next I began working on my waterfall. This waterfall will prove to be quite a challenge. Not only because of its sheer size but also its function. I'm not giving away any of the details (you'll just have to wait and see!) but it will be fucking spectacular!
Thank you so very much John, you are a very special man who I am proud to call friend. ;)
This morning I finished the terraforming and plotted out a rough draft of where water will come in, go out, borders, etc. Next I began working on my waterfall. This waterfall will prove to be quite a challenge. Not only because of its sheer size but also its function. I'm not giving away any of the details (you'll just have to wait and see!) but it will be fucking spectacular!
Thank you so very much John, you are a very special man who I am proud to call friend. ;)
Friday, January 16, 2009
Profile Punks
Am I the only one who can not stand it when people use gangsta speak in their profiles? They add unnecessary letters or spell things all funky or use a barrage of little graphics in their sentences. It really annoys me and totally turns me off to reading their profile when I have to decipher what the hell they are trying to say. Slang has its place and little colloqualisms are fun to sprinkle in but when that's ALL you have to show of your virtual self, its not positively impressive.
This also goes for those who try and act black when they are anything but. Damn posers.
This also goes for those who try and act black when they are anything but. Damn posers.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Greetings All!
FIRST POST OF MY BRAND SPANKIN' NEW BLOG! YAY ME!
Don't really have much to say other than I'm fucking beat. I cannot wait for the weekend and the chance to sleep in.
More later.
Don't really have much to say other than I'm fucking beat. I cannot wait for the weekend and the chance to sleep in.
More later.
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